Tue, June 8, 2010 - 2:17 AM State of Mind - Very good blog entry. All except one of my gay contemporaries are gone now. I account my survival to being "the virgin queen" because, after being raped by a teacher, anal sex had no appeal, as bottom or top. As a cancer survivor I am all too aware that health is a state of mind. The floating gay crowd concentrates too much on the externals. Could you contemplate a relationship with someone involving no penetrative sex? Been there, done that. Teamed up with a gay female to have kids. We still respect each other although now live 400 miles apart with our own lives, connected by our three sons. HIV still stalks the land — all three of my sons are "careful" and will continue to be until they are in long term trusting relationships. Paul ---------------------------------------- -- Sun, July 25, 2010 - 11:44 PM very pensive blog I just want to say how glad I am that I was able to transcend a lot of the stigmas, in part because I disclose my status openly. It's the only way I can think of for me to fight them.The only person to caution me to be careful about to whom I should disclose, is the only person I've ever told who is not still present in my life. I feel hope, joy and love on a daily basis, not always directed from others at me. Sometimes it is enough to know my own capacity for them and share them with everyone I can. If only people knew the past and present, perhaps they would be more mindful of them and stop seeking to know the future. For me, for now, I will continue to love and be loved, and hope that my life be as helpful and inspirational to the people I encounter as theirs have been and still are to me. The above two comments were from: people.tribe.net/8b25a44a-6fa8-4143-ab53-1282ecb00002 /blog?topicid=89965239-da46-491d-9682-6c 3478241ef2#comments ---------------------------------------- ------ This morning, I opened an email. On this Memorial Day, it was both heartfelt and beautifully said. We each - especially those who got back to the beginning of this plague - have memories. For me, it was a chunky, short Italian man - the wisest, kindest, most intelligent, and most masterful man I ever met or could meet. He died Thanksgiving, 1989 - at least physically. He lives with me and always will. Horrible illnesses, like KS, and vigorous men wasting away. Then there was the quilt, spread across the entire Mall in DC, remembrances of people of all stripes. Old men. Tiny babies. Lovely women. College age boys. And designated grief counselors. And designated grief counselors. Who were needed. And Ronald Reagan staring out the White House window. Just staring...and doing nothing. Yes, Denn, there are memories. Thank you, Ron groups.yahoo.com/group/PawzBears/message/7414 ---------------------------------------- ------ A lovely piece but I disagree with the entire premise. "HIV and AIDS took that fighting spirit, that hope that humility and that dignity away from all of us." Actually it turned us from a group of narcissistic disco divas in the 70's into caregivers for one another during the first wave in the 80's and 90's and then we got mad and we marched and we took control of our lives and we decided to educate ourselves and others and to demand that the government fast track drugs that first killed us and then saved our lives. In some very pathological way it empowered us. That's what happens when your back is up against the wall and you have nothing left to lose. And today what we find is our children having correct attitudes, a new generation of humans that seem not to care who does what with whom. So from all the ugliness has emerged something beautiful. Today and tomorrow congress is preparing to dismantle don't ask don't tell. We've come a long way baby, but the finish line will never be in sight. (posted by tim aka boomer7391) groups.yahoo.com/group/PawzBears/message/7415 ---------------------------------------- Damn... An incredible heartfelt piece of text, and an amazing, passionate response... And I find myself in the contradiction of agreeing with both sides of the argument... I'm gonna be thinking about this for quite a while... But I guarantee I'll be forwarding it... My most sincere thanks to you both (dingo and denn at pozville) for such passionate sharing... Tom K. groups.yahoo.com/group/PawzBears/message/7418